While some have argued that the internet isolates us, internet users know it has a remarkable ability to bring us together. Through forums, blogs, and other social sites, it’s possible to connect with thousands of people all around the world who share your particular interest. However, when that many people are brought together it’s inevitable some tensions will develop.

In a group that large, there will no doubt be a great mix of characters and personalities, including those who are highly sensitive and those who are highly insensitive. The laws of the internet dictate that these two types of people will find each other, even be drawn to one another, and tensions will erupt.
After spending time on social sites, I realized that the rudeness, angry volleys (sometimes called “flames”) and general jumpiness was far too widespread to be coming from simple misunderstandings between people on different ends of the sensitivity spectrum.
We’re all pretty well aware of road rage by now, and it got me to thinking if the web-rudeness I was experiencing was linked to this kind of anonymity-driven hostility on the road.
I quickly found that web rage is a documented phenomenon which stems from something called “online disinhibition effect.” The online disinhibition effect means that posts turn to nasty flames because the writer is unable to gauge the target’s response, or in many cases decipher the true motive in the first place. In real life, we “read” someone according to their body language, tone, pitch, all the things that are impossible to decipher online. In fact, in real life words account for only 7% of our communication.
It took millions of years for humans to develop our complex communication techniques, so it makes sense that when you take away 93% of what we use to get our message across, the messages often get lost or misinterpreted. Whether behind the wheel or behind the screen, we need to find ways to adapt to help our desired messages get through without causing more harm than good.
Some tips to combat web rage:
- To cut down on misunderstandings, use smileys or emoticons to give emotional cues to your message.
- Don’t waste time on “trolls” (people who scan through social sites looking for arguments) or flamers. If you feel the need to clarify an original post, simply do it and excuse yourself from the discussion.
- Before taking offense and firing off a nasty remark, take a moment to imagine the person behind the post. In all reality, it could be someone you know. Imagine if a friend or family member came to you with the same statements. How would you respond to them?
- If it is someone you know, pick up the phone or ask to meet in person. The extra cues from hearing their voice on the phone or meeting face to face will help you deal with the situation much more effectively.
- Last but not least: learn proper web etiquitte and teach your children.